A Piece About Rain

Below is a descriptive piece I wrote about rain. When you finish reading, I want you to tell me what you think of it.




I grabbed my cup of coffee and walked to the balcony. I stared at the angry sky. The clouds were gathering, and they were gathering fast. Instantly, the light faded. I needed a break from my work, and I wanted to enjoy my coffee, in silence. So I sat on the chair on the balcony, sipping my coffee, and looking at the wisps that soon turned invisible.

I noticed a shadow that covered my coffee cup, and I looked up. I couldn’t help but  break into a grin. I knew what would happen, and I didn’t want to miss it. I glanced at the time, 6.00 pm. Usually, the light won’t disappear in this time, or at least not in the summer. The temperature dropped as the hair on my arm began to stand. I should’ve brought my robe, I thought. I was only wearing a pair of shorts and my T-shirt. The wind began to howl, and I saw the trees in the distance dance with the rhythm of the wind.  Now it became pitch black, as if the clouds were a matt black curtain, covering the sun. I was alone, sitting in darkness. The light switch was footsteps away from me, but I was too comfortable in my seat. I stretched my back and stared into the distance, waiting for the real action, the real storm.

I was enjoying my own warmth that spread the comfort in my body, making me feel lazy. The weather and the atmosphere around me suited so well, I wanted to take a   snooze in my seat. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. The decaf really hit me hard. I just felt restless. It stopped moving in my seat and froze, there was no sound that I could catch but the honking of the cars in the city, which was far from where I was staying.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the best show. I was forced to open it when thin drops of rain touched my face. They were light and cold. And within the minute, the tempo of the rain increased, coming down faster and faster. I tried to open my eyes in the storm and for a split second, I saw sheets of rain, pouring onto the earth. The mist blinded me and I closed my eyes. I stood from my seat, to feel the complete breeze. It is as if I’m  literally standing in the shower. The water soaked my shirt and hair. My balcony was flooded now and the water was attempting to break into my apartment. I dragged myself across the balcony to shut the doors. I slammed the doors and walked back to the railing. I took a deep breath. The smell of fresh mud and grass filled my lungs. I could smell the soft soil, being submerged by the fresh rainwater. I then exhaled. Again, another deep breath. This time, the smell of fresh lavender and cherry blossom occupied my nose.

By now, I was  wet. My clothes got heavy on me. I was too busy squeezing the water out of my shirt until I was interrupted with a mighty sound thunder. My heart skipped a beat. I counted silently. 1…2…3…4… then again another frightening round of thunder. Lightening flashed the sky, and it subdued me again. Like a musical piece, the thunder cackled again, this time much louder. The rain was beating the floor, and it sounded like little kids clapping their hands. The storm began to reach the climax. The rain, the thunder, and the lightning began to build speed and sound. It was getting louder and faster. My ears popped and eyes were shut like window shutters.  I started to ponder whether I’d be knocked out of this balcony because of this storm.

Not long, the beautiful storm began to relax. The rain went from pouring to drizzling, the wind stopped howling and the trees dance performance finally ended. The mist vaporized and the view became vivid. The stormy clouds began to disperse as slow as a snail. The water started to drain in the ground and the sun’s rays beamed on me. I smiled once more. I walked back inside, fully drenched, and had the urge to change.



6 thoughts on “A Piece About Rain

  1. Hey Abhijit,
    I liked the passage: “The smell of fresh mud and grass filled my lungs. I could smell the soft soil, being submerged by the fresh rainwater. I then exhaled. Again, another deep breath. This time, the smell of fresh lavender and cherry blossom occupied my nose”. Its gives me a good description of your setting which probably may be in South India (Hydrabad?). That might be a terrible guess.
    Overall, your writing reminds me of Ernest Hemingway, great author btw, because of how each of your sentences are short and to the point.

    Great Job! I really liked this piece.

    The one who sat next to you in Ms. Rimmer’s class (Guess who?)


  2. Even though I already read it once, it was still amazing. I loved each description from every sentence and it built onto my anticipation to know what happens next. Continue to write like this and you might be an author!


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